Not Yet

In high school, they told me you gotta go to college
Because those blue-collar jobs don't exist anymore
In college, I learned that a four-year degree
Is about as useful as a high school diploma was beforeSome of my friends got jobs in coffee shops
Some fell to making music or writing poems
Some took out loans and went back to school
Some of them just went homeMe, I was afraid of getting stuck
Everybody said don't get anybody pregnant
And don't get a job in front of a computer screenNot yet
Not yet
Not yetYou've got your whole life ahead of you
Enjoy it while you still can
That's what everybody told me, as if youth were the last
Gasp inside a plastic bag
So I clung to my freedom greedilyI cut up all the credit cards they sent me
I kept my distance from long-term leases
I wanted a dog, but I never got oneI left my options open for so long
So long, they started drying out
When someone suggested I stick around
I'm not readyNot yet
Not yet
Not yetI was proud of having nothing but a bed in the back of my truck
And a coleman stove
And a sleeping bag almost nothing that I couldn't give upI could do almost anything I
Wanted, I could drive down to mexico mañana
But I found myself wishing I had a little more that I could hold onto
I wanted something that I can't let
Go, or replace at the next sinclair
There's a girl I missWith silver streaks
In her hair
Making me wish
I was thereI pull off the interstate, and drive to her house
Park at the curb and try to get a grip
I curl my knuckles and I hitch up my heart
And knock on her front doorIt's me, I say, smiling blindly
Feeling familiar and out of sorts
I recognize the smell of her cigarettes
And some of the same plants on her front porchI jiggle the doorknob and say, let me in
I hear muffled voices and shuffled steps
Then she says, no, don't come in
I'm not ready, not yet